Saturday, July 09, 2011

Unsaid

Dearest love,
                    Things would never be the same between us. You were just a habit anyway, a reluctance to face reality head-on, a fear of embracing loneliness. The most convenient way of letting myself know that I was fine. But how could this change the truth? The truth never fades away even if you seek comfort in a thousand lies. Like the blinding light of the resplendent morning sun triumphing over darkness, it washes away all the uncertainties.
The truth hurts.

The truth is I never loved you to begin with. I do not believe in things such as love. Nothing is done without a purpose in this world. Nothing without any value is cherished. Whatever it is that you felt for me wasn't love either. It was just like a child-like longing to be the proud owner of the object of its fascination. It was an obsession of a kind.
And that is why I have to go.
The truth leaves permanent marks of damage but it also heals you in a way. It teaches you to be braver, it teaches you to be patient, it teaches you to make amends.

There are things in this world worth fighting for, worth living for. Better and greater things than love. Love is just an over-rated emotion anyway. When an infant dies of starvation in a poverty-stricken nation, when a woman is gang-raped in some corner of the world, love is the last thing on their minds. They seek a morsel of food at the end of the day. They seek the right to stay alive. They seek protection from all evils.
Love, marriage, a fulfilling family life....these are but luxuries only the high and mighty can afford. For the ones who are far less privileged, life is like a series of tortuous battles waged against uncountable evils.

I digress.
To tell the truth I don't even know why I'm writing all of this down on a stray piece of paper. It's like a stupid little self-justification for the choices I've made. Like one last ditch attempt to hold on to the frail reality, I was so absorbed in once upon a time.
Love is just a shallow excuse for carrying on with the facade of life as we know it. A clever way of masking the most primitive biological drive for survival. Love is the biggest misnomer of all.
It was never meant for someone like me.

I'm about to go far, far away...to a place full of unknown faces. A place where colorful dreams are forbidden from entering. A place so deeply enmeshed in the cold darkness of despair, that hope is alien. A country ravaged by the brutalities of war and geo-political tension, where millions are in need of warm clothes, food and a refuge from atrocities.
A place with people who need tender care, concern, empathy and love.
And as I work for their welfare, I may think of you sometimes. I may shed tears at the thought of what could have been.
And who knows? Some day, I may come to realize that I loved you after all.

__                                                                                                 

P.S: This post was lying as a draft among several other half-written posts. Finally published. 
P.P.S: Also it is fictional.

Image courtesy : http://fictional-fearless.blogspot.com/

Photobucket

33 comments:

Alka Gurha said...

So very well written but love makes the fight easier and worthwhile...whatever we are fighting...health, justice,food money, shelter...

Jaspreet said...

Visited your blog after such a long time and I am glad i did-its wonderfully written. While falling in or out of love, we may feel like its the last thing we'd want to lose but in reality, there are far more important things that make life worth living. Thanks for sharing this thought. If you dont mind , can I share it on my FB wall, with due credits of course?

Samadrita said...

@Alka: Maybe or maybe not. I was just trying to offer another viewpoint...actually I dunno what I was thinking when I wrote this post. :P

@Jaspreet: Hey long time no see girl! Sure thing you can share it, no problems at all.

Prateek said...

Third paragraph; I loved it the most.
I am from those who love to live an emancipate life perhaps because notion of love to me is still a frail concept. Family is the sheer love else are called self created illusion.

SUB said...

great piece of writing...

☆ ayu☆ said...

hmm..sometimes i feel that way..so far ive been hurt when i experience love..haha..so i guess you are really right when you said "Love is just an over-rated emotion anyway" and it is a "comfort in a thousand lies."..

but maybe..like what you said..i will realize how beautiful love is when i truly experience what real love is hahaha :D

RE:yankee-kun doesnt have an anime..but i hope it would have..haha..that's from a picture in its manga..

so zettai kareshi was boring to you..well..i cant say my opinion yet since i havent finished it..so far..it is slow paced an dim starting to hate the girl riiko..and hate the acting of the robot night-kun. haha

Dishita said...

I am not sure you hold any relevance to it but it surely is gray!

♠ Tharangni ♠ said...

Wow! Such a lovely post! I loved the way you described love and the country she was to leave to!

Anish said...

"There are things in this world worth fighting for, worth living for. Better and greater things than love. Love is just an over-rated emotion anyway."

\m/ \m/ awesomeness these lines!So identify with these!This is why I hate all those boy groups who croon whiny love songs. :D

That's the truth-love is truly a childlike longing to possess an object of fascination like you said.Possess being the key word here.

And yeah there are so many things out there which are far more important than romantic love.

Very well written post!Kudos!

Hemant said...

Can't explain in words.....its just AWESOME......

Vamsi K Mohan said...

Well writtern gurl! As always, I loved this one too. The attitude of the girl depicted in the first few lines was so stubborn and I liked that part. Personally I would have loved it even more if the girl remained with same notion through out till the end, instead of being a bit less stubborn and presuming that she might have been in love after all. Nevertheless, I liked the post a lot. Well written Sam :)

CRD said...

Can't really relate to the post. But very well written :)

Cheers
CRD

shrutianime said...

I loved this!! Keep writing more~ =D

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

It started with something like an Ayn Rand philosophy, beautifully digressed on a more sarcastic and sharp tone towards the issues of the state of society and then jumped back to where it was headed. Ended on a hopeful note.

Very nice post.

Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete

Priyanka said...

Beautiful. Why does it seem like these are words that came out of my head?

You have a knack for translating mere feelings into powerful words, describing them exactly as they are.

Selenium said...

Quiet a lot to say about the non existence of love... or the lack of it... which ever may the case be.

But it's good. I ended up agreeing on the whole... letter.

Purba said...

The eternal turmoil between the head and the heart, brilliantly expressed.

Siddhesh 'Ravan' Kabe said...

Excellent post sammy, I find it hard to believe it is fiction, if it is its brilliant!!?!

Zeba said...

Wow. Ah. I am glad this is no longer sitting as a draft. This is definitely something to be published.

zephyr said...

Somewhere reason has won over emotions in this story. To have loved and left is better than not loving at all, right?

Nethra said...

She, whoever she is, contradicted her own thoughts. Before she did that, I was like "Dumbledore wouldn't agree with you. According to him love is everything".

Meera Sundararajan said...

It was really nice and touching! I like your point about love being a luxury that the poor and starving cannot afford. You know there is a saying by Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa that for the poor a morsel of food is God. So there!! Though fictional, it could well be used to describe many unwritten thoughts in many heads. Cheers!!!

Samadrita said...

@Prateek: I guess both of us share similar viewpoints then. :)

@SUB: Thanks! :)

@Ayu: I agree with you there. This is why the protagonist too feels that her notions can be flawed.

@Dishita: I should've mentioned earlier that it is fictional. And yes it is tinged with gray.

@Thanrangni: Thanks girl!

Samadrita said...

@Anish: Wow you agree with me for once. I'm humbled. :D

@Hemant: Glad you liked it. :)

@Vamsi:Thanks much again Vamsi.

@CRD: These are just personal thoughts expressed in the form of a personal letter. Thanks for reading! :)

@Shruti: I surely will, darling!

Samadrita said...

@BA: Thanks much. ^^

@Priyanka: I donno about that but I hope your words are true. :)

@Selenium: That's enough for me. :)

@Purba di: Thanks much! You saying this, means a lot.

@Sid: Yes it is fiction expressed in the form of a letter. But yeah these are all my personal thoughts.

Samadrita said...

I'm glad you feel that way! :)

@Zephyr: Actually this is a different kind of take on the romantic kind of love and love in general. I was just trying to offer another viewpoint, trying to rationalize the whole concept of love, marriage etc.

@Nethra: Why Dumbledore of all people? I'm sure a lot would disagree. Actually I'm not that sure about what love is, maybe in the years to come I'll come to understand it better. :)

@Meera Sundararajan: Agree with you there. For the poverty-stricken, romance is a luxury.

Nikita said...

Beautiful !!

i had so much to write if it was not fictional...

glad it isn;t
hugss

wisewit said...

Seems a bit cynical in parts, maybe, but still believable and thought provoking. Anyway, cynicism and sarcasm seem to be your strong points. :)

wisewit

Ice Princezz said...

Interesting. I do agree with the part where a person in distress looks for survival first rather than 'over-rated' emotions like love and happiness. But then again...love is what helps you survive in this world.

Swapnil N said...

After reading this post I had feeling of deja-vu.....so many times we've these things in our subconscious mind and they just come out on a vulnerable moment.....jst like this letter.....deja-vu....

Rachit said...

How can I deny even a bit of your musing? Its so true and close to my heart.

Weakest LINK

schmetterlingwords said...

Hi Samadrita,

I bumped into your space when blog hopping. I've been reading a few of your posts recently. For whatever I've read so far, I like this one the most. Powerful expression of thoughts... very rational. Of course, love is a luxury for many.

I'm happy to follow you :) Keep writing more...

Enchanta said...

I am out of words and pretty things to say.
There's nakedness in this and I don't think I should say any more.

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