Friday, January 21, 2011

Part 3 - Catharsis

Finally I present you with the next part of the story. I hope you (or at least some of you) do remember the series.
For those who've missed out on the earlier parts :-
Part 2 - Am I a stalker now?

People are afraid of dying a lovelorn death. Of plunging headfirst into the bottomless pit of self-pity and loneliness and never being able to emerge out of it. Of having to wake up every morning without the comforting thought of having someone by their side.
Of living a life devoid of a purpose.
And what am I afraid of?
I'm not sure.
Mirrors never lie do they?
I squint at the person staring at me from the other end of the solid sheet of glass. With the dishevelled hair and the partly sunken eyes, the girl looks vaguely familiar.

I flop on to the bed, a sudden surge of exhaustion seeping into every pore of my tired limbs, numbing all my other senses, lulling me into a trance-like state where I lose track of time. But sleep still eludes me.
Working odd shifts at the convenient store till I could barely stand on my two legs anymore, always made me feel good about myself. It gave me a sense of accomplishment like no other.
But some how that feeling of contentment seems to be a thing of the distant past, something that will only be preserved as a sliver of memory now.
Nothing makes me feel alive anymore.

I reach out for my purse on the other side of the bed.
I'll go out, enjoy a quiet smoke and rid my mind of such pointless thoughts.
'Avni, you mustn't.'
His voice chides me.

I would never smoke again. Even though I didn't keep any of the other promises I made to him, I have to keep this one.
And just like that you know you've reached the end point of your self-restraint, that iron resolve of yours that you prided yourself on.
You cry like a newborn baby, defenseless and utterly lost.
You know exactly when and why things have gone wrong. You know you can no longer live in denial.
For you've always known what you were afraid of.
I was afraid of falling in too deep.
I was the fool who never realized that she was too deep.

---> Part 4 - Rewind



Anish said...

Well let me tell you that this was definitely the best post of the series.Beautifully expressed emotions.And a superb conclusion.Well done!

Prateek said...

I liked the way you expressed it. Beautiful

♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ ayu ♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ said...

i love this chapter..esp. the last 2 sentences..makes me think of myself..haha.. somehow i can relate to it..:)

RE: haha..that's excited to hear what your reaction about the manga..hehe..anyway, my grammar is always my weakness i hope you can bare with it when you read it :)

thank you in advance :D

Nethra said...

Who is she? There was a student in the first part and in the second part a girl who worked in a store. I had supposed they were same.

Samadrita said...

@Anish: Glad you liked it!

@Prateek: Thankee!

@Ayu: Hmm..women tend to be silly sometimes I guess.

@Nethra: Read the parts carefully again. It's the same girl, that is Avni.

Dibakar Sarkar said...

Thanks for the sharing.

Please come to my blog and cast your vote under "Books" to the left of my blog's name,


Nethra said...

Yea, even I supposed that it's the same girl but never expected a college girl to smoke and all.

Ajay Kontham™ said...

Hi. Nice post and a was good to read the whole thing.
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Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Beautiful story. I stumbled on this third part, then really had to force myself to go to the first, and after reading the first, I couldn't resist reading the rest.
Awesome writeup.

But reading the last one, the last line specially, I am a bit confused.
There's another 'She' who is in too deep with him?

Samadrita said...

@Nethra: Well smoking is uncommon among college girls but not totally unheard of.

@Blasphemous Aesthete: Thank you for reading the whole of it. Well the 'she' in the last sentence is the same 'she'. That is the female protagonist Avni. She was only referring to herself. :)

Purba said...

You expressed the melancholy vividly.

♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ ayu ♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ said...

im glad we have the same view on that particular anime hehehe :)

❥ ќʀɨsтɨиɑ said...

Hello. Visiting. ;D I hope we could follow each others blogs and be friends as well, if that's alright with you. Have a nice day. :)

Quintessence Of Illusion said...

im read backwards...1st 4th then 3rd....n im loving this....

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