Saturday, September 18, 2010

Wish

10 years down the line would I still be the 'me' who loves to look at the sky above and discern patterns created by the array of clouds?
Would I still feel thrilled to hear the distant rumbling of clouds and the first clap of thunder heralding the advent of that much-awaited first spell of shower?
Stuck in a traffic snarl where all other sound is drowned out by the blaring of horns and heated exchange of words between drivers and people eager to reach their destinations on time..will I still be able to look at that girl on the pavement who is chatting with someone over the cell-phone so animatedly,oblivious of her surroundings, and smile to myself?
Despite the shortcomings, the potholes on the roads, the mismanagement of traffic ...will I still be able to look at my city with awe and wonder every time I venture into an unknown part of it?
What will become of the 'me' who gets tears in her eyes every time she listens to that favorite song she has listened to over a hundred times? Will that song cease to be such an important part of me?
Will I help that woman, who climbs aboard a crowded bus with several bags and a kid in tow, with a smile or will I look the other way and pretend not to notice?
Will I feel equally outraged when I hear a racist comment, an offensive remark about my nation and my people?
Will I have any time left for finer feelings or will I be forced to drive them away and busy myself with the more materialistic prospects of life? Always calculating, estimating, planning and programming.....
Will I start seeing the world in a whole new light as time progresses? Will I be forced to give up on my ideals that are so treasured by me right now?
All my beliefs...all my dreams...the people I cherish...will I be forced to forsake them all?
I don't want to succumb to the demands of worldly matters and transform into a person I can no longer recognize as myself.
I just want to keep being 'me'. No matter what.



P.S: I'm in one of those hyper-moody phases today. All thanks to the incessant rain.

Sig 2

19 comments:

Pulkit said...

No, you won't be the same. Everything changes with time, so will you and I and the rest of the human race. But don't worry the change won't be colossal enough to bring with it a difficulty for you to recognize yourself. In fact, it will be so gradual that you will never regret it.
Nice post, by the way :)

Sourav C. Pandey said...

Blame it on the weather, but changes are the only constant thing. I had similar thoughts in my mind too few years back, but this is way to live! But you know no matter how much it all changes around us, we will retain all the qualities we love in ourselves! Cheer up now and enjoy the last rains of the season! :)

Giribala said...

I don't agree with the naysayers. You could be the same if you want to!

notgogol said...

Bloghopped here and have spent a sinful amount of time :| Man you write well.

The last temptation and the good and bad of it were particularly great reads.

Will hop back.

Abhinav said...

If the rains make you feel diff i think that feeling will always be there in spite of the other changes in life.

Samadrita said...

@Pulkit: I guess but no matter what I still want to preserve those things that make 'me' ME. Thanks for the comment.

@Sourav: I knew someone was gonna say that change is the only constant in life. But somehow despite being aware of that fact I do not want to change into a completely diff person.

@Giribala ji: Thanks for the encouragement and those positive words.

@notgogol: Ah I'm glad you bothered to read so many posts. It's always great to get a genuine comment and a reader amidst the fake ones. Thank you for those kind words!

@Abhinav: I'm not sure I get what you mean but..you sound like you mean well. :)

Nethra said...

It would be something like, "Love never dies...you just choose to love someone(something) else". Time can never take away things that you truly cherish. If it does then it might be better than what it is at the moment.

Selenium said...

Well, like the gradiance of your writing... life is bound to change and so will the things and people living it. If things aren't changing within you or around you, you are just a inanimate object like a doll that stays in it's decoration pedestal forever...

If change depresses you... remember this line by some famous guy (I forgot who... Walt Disney maybe...) - "Life goes on..."

Quintessence Of Illusion said...

Well the basic nature of a person can never chaNge....So im sure you will never cease to be "You"....this one was really nice

Sayandeep Kundu said...

It's mind that changes, self doesn't..But again the possibility of that change in mind is optional. It's the inner self that controls mind. It's "you" as well as your willpower that controls the change if any in "your" mind... If you wish to cling to definite ideologies throughout your life, that's up to "you" too, however may change the world surrounding you....The seething waves of mind will be drifted towards what's happening outside.. But then it's you not your mind that has the power whether or not to let your mind take the reins off "you"...'cause mind is just another instrument for the living being to connect its "self" with the surroundings....Don't fear..The reason why you have come up with such an apprehension that you might have to change yourself with the changing time is the fruit of fear- an ingrained vice or virtue of mind.....It's your self who decides whether or not to get scared...:)

It was a nice post.. Very touching...:)

Anish said...

You know late at night when I can't sleep I wonder these things too-we are growing older...and the carefree life we have led so far-it's nearly over-and we keep hearing all the time about how the real world changes people-about how you have to compromise in every step..about how you have to struggle..about how you no longer have time for your passions..and I wonder where are we headed this way-excellent post-it brings out the fears one has about the future very nicely..I could connect with this post....

Girish said...

Change is inevitable, but the essence of you which you cherish now will remain forever even with all the changes.. :)
I know mine will (atleast I really hope so)! :)

Journomuse said...

The way I see it, you will be 'same, same but different'. You think in your heart that you are the same person, but the way you react to situations, crisis will be different. You will still appreciate the solitude and the need to smell the grass, but there will be things that take priority, need to take priority. But let me tell you from experience, the joys of life when you are older is when you get to recapture the innocent joys of days gone by..:)

Me-Era* said...

Rains always do this, don't they? I like the feeling though. :)

wisewit said...

I'm not sure you would really want to stay the same if you could see where it would lead you. When I look back at where I was 10 years ago, I realize things haven't changed much, and I'm not entirely happy about it. I don't seem to have gotten anywhere or accomplished anything; I'm still struggling with the same problems; I even look very nearly the same age. Frankly, it's a bit creepy. . . . Still, I hope you keep those traits that keep me coming back to your blog. :)

wisewit

atindriyo said...

beautiful, incessant, like the rain....


as a poet had once said,

brishti porey ekhaney baro-mash
megh ekhaney gaabhii-r moto chorey
poranmukh shobuj nali-ghash
duarey chepey dhorey

♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ ayu ♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ said...

i want you to be as lovely and as kind as always..pls. dont change..i know you wouldn't :P

Sh@s said...

Things change so do we with time. But our basic nature may remain the same. I hope that you evolve into a more matured (not that you are any less now), more beautiful, more enriched person and still be the 'you' that you want to be.
Take care :)

Purba said...

From someone who's been there done that...trust me you"ll change only if you want to.

Just keep child within you alive.

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