Monday, April 19, 2010

Changing times,Changing priorities

Just a week back when I was enjoying another regular autorick ride on my way back from college I was graced by the presence of a lovey-dovey couple as my co-passengers. I felt momentarily relieved.
Reason: Anyone else apart from a fat, lecherous middle-aged guy who tries to nudge you with his elbows or lean on you is welcome to sit beside you...
But then my relief changed to horror as soon as I realized that this couple were rather PDA-hit than lovey-dovey. (I hope you get my drift)

Now that is all fine since it's a free country. And no matter how irritating or atrocious it might seem to someone else there's no rule against cuddling up with your partner in public places.(THERE SHOULD BE ONE!!)
But what if the guy's hand brushes against your shoulder every time he puts his arm around his girl? (She was sitting in the middle)

In the hot,humid weather imagine how icky it would feel to experience another sweaty human's touch. Ugh!
So at this point of time I turned my head to glare at them but meh who am I kidding? They were too busy feeling each other up to pay any attention to my obvious wrath. I really wanted to summon all my courage and tell them a loud 'GET A ROOM for Christ's sake'. Instead I ended up taking out my cell phone and pretending to text a non-existent contact. Awkward.

See you people might think of me as a prude after this but haven't all of you been in similar situations where you're forced to watch the rough equivalent of a live pornographic flick?
That day when I came back home I was too tired to recount the story to anyone but I couldn't help wondering how cheap love relationships have become these days.

While chatting up with a very close friend of mine I got to know about one of his friends who cares to brag about how many times a month he 'does it' with his girlfriend. Sometime he is even forced to listen to the details.
Let me know if I'm living in a different century altogether....but aren't exercising discretion, having mutual respect for each others' feelings and keeping private things private part of such relationships?
I thought India was a country whose social structure was a matter of envy to the west. The way we view family, relationships and place importance on moral well-being over material comforts has always been one of our greatest strengths. But do we, the present generation, have any respect for our strictly Indian principles anymore?

These days I'm pained to look around me and find people who are so engrossed in living a fast life that they're choosing to ignore everything else. A person prefers to work in any place which offers better job benefits rather than follow his heart and commit to a job of his liking. An increased number of divorces and frequent break-ups are the order of the day.
Like another friend of mine joked the other day....'Pretty soon cheating on your partner will be the in-thing to do.'

Has something gone fundamentally wrong with us? Or is this the American effect? Are we blindly imitating their culture without giving it a second thought?
India is an emerging nation but is this economic growth stunting us on another level where we're rejecting character traits like honesty, decency, self-restraint? Are we losing our morals while trying to make fast money and crossing out another item from our 'wish-list'?
Do mull over this and let me know your thoughts.

P.S: PDA=Public Display of Affection(just in case....)
And I was being sarcastic when I said I was 'enjoying my autorick ride'.
Autorick drivers=Worst Nightmares

Sig 2


Anish said...

well PDA should be banned...India is a free country..but not a faggy least not yet... :D

and of course there are guys like fact most guys are like that....and not just India...the world over...most people around us exhibits the kind of mentality which appears too cheap to some of us....but that's is what it is...morality varies from person to there will always be people like this....

I feel angry most of the times when I see people like these...more like disgusted....but the best thing to do is ignore them...they aren't worth the attention or importance....

Laav said...

I like your blog! Very interesting!

And great post.
Autos really suck.

Arr0w said...


'Live pornographic flick'?
Can't POSSIBLY do that much in an auto with another person sitting. :P

Don't know where you've gone with the topic though...going on to talk about westernization and the death of 'Indian Culture'.

What does PDA have to do with Honesty?

What does Economic growth have to do with PDA?

PDA has more to do with overcrowding in cities. There is NO place whatsoever for couples to spend alone time anymore, and as a result, you end up having to see them. I doubt they'd be intimate in public if they could avoid it, but they really have no other place...

And over and above that, what makes PDA such a bad thing?

I mean, they're happy, why should you care?

If you see a fight going on, I'm willing to bet you never step in. You ignore it and walk on. We're so good at ignoring violence, we might as well ignore this too.

sagar V said...

haah you must be in tricky situation..well u have right to release ur fristation..

Samadrita said...

@Anish: Trust me if ignoring them were that easy I'd do it all the time. :)

@Laav: Ah hi there.I hope you liked my blog enough to come back a second time :D And yes autos are a test of your patience. >_<

Samadrita said...

@Arr0w: When I say 'pornographic flick' I use it as a form of expression...I don't mean it as in literally.But you need to see what they were doing in order to believe me.So let's not go into that.
There's one couple me and a pair of my friends see every alternate day owing to the fact that we board the same buses on our way to college.
They sit in the very last row and the guy has his hands all over the girl's chest.Yes.I'm forced to type this disgusting thing out in this space in order to make you understand why I said 'pornographic flick'.Eww!
Sometimes people do such things just for the heck of it... and sometimes to show off to the rest of the world.
Does PDA sound alright now Arr0w?Will you do the same things with your partner openly?

10 or 15 years back such blatant display of affection(if it can be called so) wasn't even imaginable in our country.But now it is.
Question is why.I tend to think the Americanisation of our society and rapid economic growth are to blame for it.Money,gadgets,internet,creature comforts...these are the key words/terms in our life.There's no scope for genuine feelings or emotions or subtlety in relationships.These things have made us selfish beyond imagination and snatched away all our Indian sensibilities.Nobody wants to differentiate right from wrong anymore.

I hope I have made myself clear now.

@sagar v: Frustration you mean?Not was disgust rather.Thanks for the comment :)

Atindriya said...

why do you care? shobai shobar mato choluk, tui tor nijer mato is not a film-reel which can be censored out.....

are these are cheap people.... oder niye matha ghamash na, payer juto payer tolatei rakhtey hoy

Siddhesh 'Ravan' Kabe said...

.But do we,the present generation, have any respect for our strictly Indian principles anymore?
What values dear?? You mean, Lord Krishna flirting and PDA paintings with Radha are famous around the temples right? He is singing a flute with arms around her and she was not even his wife ever!!!

The same culture which worships Shiv Ling???

Has something gone fundamentally wrong with us?Or is this the American effect?Are we blindly imitating their culture without giving it a second thought?
I think we are now going back to the core values of being an Indian. The age old hindus were very open culture in scriptures, but thanks to Persian invasion over our culture we became so narrow minded and its good thing we are broadning our mind.

Well i do not say that the PDA was right or wrong, just saying that our culture is really not the one we all are taught.

An increased number of divorces and frequent break-ups are the order of the day. Totally agree with you. This is a sad truth about our confused generation today, earlier people where taught kamasutra (which also teaches how to deal with marriages and relationships) but somewhere the book turned dirty and now we have a whole generation imitating american and no one to guide it.

megzone said...

good one sam..
yes i knw PDA has become a very common sight these days...
and CERTAIN AREAS are def the IN places...
i wud rather say to each his own..
as far as u dont irk me or make me a forced volunteer i don care :)

maybe ppl mite not agree with me.. but then its a free country i wud rather not try being a thackeray or a muthalik.. let them have their own share of watevers..
as far as im nt the victim i m least bothered :D

♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ ayu ♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ said...

yeah..but we cant really blame them..:/ its their lives not ours..

(ps. check out my latest post if you have time,,.thanks :3)

The Guy said...

Ohkay, doing things in an auto on a summer afternoon, with patchy and icky shirts, and wet hands. Yuck Yuck Yuck! ARGH!! >:\

Hate Them, Move On! :|

Remember our generation too would grow up, and by the time we are 40, everything wise will be inside our mind, we'd be possessed by spirituality by then! Hopefully! :P

And the cell phone sms trick is awesome, In samsung sets u can also pretend a fake call! :) I love my phone for that! gets me out of weird situations!

Nice Read! :)

Nethra said...

You must thank God for they were only cuddling.
By the way, even I hate PDA but I sometimes wonder whether I would still hate it when I meet my Mr. Right. :P
Nice post! :)

Som said...

I'll not term that as "Americanization"...just observe the French :P
Promiscuity is a given in thier society. As the standard of living rises... our approach becomes more occidental.

But until and unless its a vulgar display(which is obviously relative) is there any reason for you to care?
If you were so uncomfortable with the guy in between where he was swishing his hands ....u could have raised your voice!
Its a free country for both of you.

I'm just so...tempted to ask....whats your opinion of Victoria memorial nowadays...or other "couple infested" places all over the country?

If it were to be a pub instead of the rickshaw....would you have minded?

Waiting for your reply :)

Samadrita said...

@atindriyo: I know re.Ignore kora chhara kono upaye achhe ki?But even so..such vulgar display of's a tad too much to digest at times.

@Sid: Lord Krishna n Radha's is a story of love...not lust.Vaishnavs view their love as a connection forged between God n his devotee.And their famous stance isn't one bit vulgar.When I say Indian sensibilities I don't intend to ask people to go back to age where love marriage was considered a social crime.If you love someone you've every right to get physical with them....but not in front of hundreds of strangers.Maybe it's just me but I tend to feel that's a way of showing disrespect towards that relationship.
No matter which way I see it I find it cheap.But then again that's my opinion :))
Thanks for that long comment :P

@megzone: I know it's a free country and people can do whatever they want to as long it is not against the law.But this blog was rather about whether such vulgar public display of lust was moral or not.The question is whether you would do the same with your partner.. :)
Thanks for reading.

Samadrita said...

@ayu: The previous reply to megzone would be what I'd like to say in response to your comment.Will read your post :)

The Guy: Glad to see you agree with me.But is PDA tolerable in a different setting?
Not in my eyes.... :)
I used to have a Samsung phone.Now I have a Nokia one. :)

@Nethra: You hit the bull's eye.That is the actual question.Whether we,each one of us individually, are okay with PDA.. :)
I know I am not.

@Som: It IS always a vulgar display you know.You think I'd care to write a blog about it if it didn't bother me much?
And I have witnessed PDA in all kinds of places(I'm sure so have you) of malls,parks,buses,college canteen,restaurants,dimly-lit theater halls,inside a Starmark outlet at Mani Square(yes) and so on.
So the answer to your question would be yes.I DO have a problem with PDA in general.The place doesn't matter.But yes I try and ignore most of the times..

Som said...

To be very frank, I haven't seen most of Kolkata...Mall mone South City othoba Forum, metropolis(barely once in 2 weeks I'm in Cal >_< ) I actually didn't care to notice. But from what you say and what little I've seen Cal...Mumbai seems to be a better place from the PDA front :P

BTW from your seems it was too your disgust stands justified ^_^

- The Virgin Author! said...

You are lucky that they still were in control after knowing that there was someone else present, too. I, in Kanpur, have seen this PDA thing - urgh, in the worst places. And I hate it! :)

Neha said...

Sammy, our country is known for its traditions and customs..but our sick attitude is that we follow others all the time..I do not believe in PDA at me orthodox; but it is not right to put others in an embarrassing position by showing your PDA skills to them..there is a time and place for everything..

LOL at your's difficult for most to get the wonder I get weird comemnts from most on my sarcastic posts..I was so far underestimating my writing skills; but your PS opened my eyes :D

Samadrita said...

@Som: Better as in?You mean it's a hub of PDA activities? :P or the opposite?Aar Mani Square ta amar colg-er kachhe tai jawa hoye jaye praye.

@The Virgin Author: Good to know that there are people with similar beliefs and feelings :))
Welcome to my blog!

@Neha: Couldn't have put it better myself...there is indeed a time and place for everything. Trust me Neha if you are orthodox so am I.Besides it's not about being orthodox or modern.It's about your values and standing by them through thick and thin :))

Well some people have less common sense is all I can say to your comment about my PS.Do not underestimate your writing skills :D :))

☆Tharangni☆ said...

>>Reply to my post<<
@Sammy ~ hehe thanks! :D and yes.. i changed it now.. im still not good with prepositions :D

Sach! said...

OMGosh!!! I know how sick it feels...some people just do 'eeuuu' stuff and make you feel same :)
Anyways! Nice blog..similar thoughts :)


Sourav C. Pandey said...

I have encountered many such PDA's in New Delhi. Kolkata is yet to catch up with the hot-trend .. Barista/CCD/India Gate were places, where you could watch soft porn for free and to top it all those lust-birds never complained!:P

Your story reminded me of the regular shared auto-rides from Garia to Jadavpur back in 2006 , I have had my share of heavenly-hell experiences. Though I could only remember one, where I saw this beautiful girl and she she turned out to be a co-student at IMS, no am not sharing the rest of the story ..! ;)

PS: I'm in favour of PDA's by others but am never at it ! :P

Good to be here after long ! :D

Sourav :)

Samadrita said...

@Tharangni: Don't mention it.And keep will get better with prepositions in no time :))

@Sach!: Ah good to know there are people with a similar mindset.Thanks for the visit :))

@Sourav: Darn and here I was getting all eager to listen to the rest of your story.Although anyway I can take a guess :D :P
Well Kolkata is fast catching up with the 'trend' of getting physical with your partner in broad daylight.Trust me.And it isn't one bit nice..atleast for the onlookers. :(
Thanks for the comment after a long time.

pawan said...

I see a lot of my friends 'falling' in 'love', walk hand in hand for some six months, do the new (whatever it is), the guy finally becomes bankrupt and the girl bored and they break up, just like that!
I guess today's generation have accepted the western culture more than anyone can dream of.
But in the end, it completely shows how shameless and desperate the people have become.
Good post, this shud've won a tangy tuesday pick too!


Samadrita said...

@pawan: Again...glad to know we share similar views.Thanks :)

Siddhesh 'Ravan' Kabe said...

its the theists in you that believes that what Lord Krishna and Radha had was love not lust, similarly you have to believe that a couple might have love...instead of assuming they have lust right?

Oh and Love marriage was never a crime, it was the sickos Persians who brought this crime against marriage...hindu society was always tolerant towards PDAs, love and all...


Siddhesh 'Ravan' Kabe said...

Don't mind but it is a sensitive topic for me as most of the time, i end up defending couples from their parents and sickos of the society...:)

Gyanban said...

Democracy is the boon and bane of our country you know.
Freedom does not give some a free license to do whatever they wish to. But we as a society have come so far in the path of indiscipline, that now turning back or turning a new leaf will be next to impossible. So what does one do ? Co exist with imperfection.

Karthik said...

I TOTALLY agree with you without any arguments.
Though I have not experienced such things, I can imagine quite well when you said PDA and 'live pornographic flick'. That's certainly disgusting.

Such a pity these things have become "cool" nowadays, and when we voice our opinions, we are old school. (I observed it on this comment section too).

Do whatever you want as long as it doesn't cause any problems and embarrassment to others. I wonder when they will understand the true meaning of freedom!

I'd always believed that the meaning of girlfriend is "a person with whom you are gonna spend the rest of your life". But now the definitions are changing rapidly. All they mean is "wham bham thank you, ma'am".
Bloody sickos!

Excellent post, Sammy. You spoke my mind.

Samadrita said...

@Sid: Like they say 'to each his own' :) These are your views and the ones expressed in this post are all mine.I don't mind at all. :)

@Gyanban: There's no other option now is there?..but when you say 'imperfection' I guess it means you feel the way I do. :)

@Karthik: wham bham thank you, ma'am-LMAO!Did you make that up?if you did hats off to you :)
And just like always you are one of my favoritest readers ever-one of the few who take care to read so thoroughly and comment right from the heart.
I'm more than glad to know that we share similar views regarding such things.

I wonder when they will understand the true meaning of freedom-This is exactly my point. :)

rajat nagpal said...

ha ha i would love to be autorickshawallah in this scenario ..looking all three of you in the rear view would be fun..but on a serious note...mild pda's are cool with me...but if u want to do stuff there's always a room!!
PS: if you are again in such a situation , you can pretend to click some pics of sceneries from your phone...will make the couple uncomfortable :)

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