Closing her eyes she tried to drive away the disturbing images from her head but failed woefully at it.
Sleep was eluding her tonight.
Outside the confines of their apartment the elements of nature seemed to be wreaking havoc.
The rain lashed against her window-panes like a merciless whip and the thunder roared louder than ever. After a few more minutes she finally gave up on her feeble attempts at catching some shut-eye. The chiming of the wall-clock informed her that it was 2 in the morning. Sliding off her bed soundlessly she made her way towards the balcony.
By this time the rain had slowed down to a somewhat steady drizzle. Stretching her arms over the railing Akangsha looked into the face of the rain-drenched night.
An ominously dark grey sky seemed to be hovering above the world....threatening to break its peaceful stance.
The entire neighborhood along with its residents were in dreamland, no doubt enveloped in the cosiness brought about by the cool, damp weather.
In the room next to hers her workaholic mother was deep in sleep.
Akangsha wondered how her surroundings could look so calm and tranquil when deep inside utter chaos prevailed.
She crossed her arms and hugged herself tightly as if in a vain attempt to keep everything from falling apart. It was hard to imagine that things had been so normal two weeks back...when she had been so blissfully unaware of the devastating truth that would turn her world upside down.
With her right hand she checked her pulse.
Yes there it was. The other heartbeat. The gentle thrum-thrum of life that was breathing within her now...
She bent forward and inhaled the heady scent of moist earth.
Some things never changed. The smell was still as intoxicating as ever.
Suddenly her face broke into a half-smile as she let out a deep sigh.
Closing her eyes she glimpsed her father's face...the way her mother used to laugh incredulously when he cracked a silly joke.
Memories were such a gift to the human psyche....Just by closing her eyes she could go back to the good old days when they were one small but happy family.
Even if all of it had been a beautiful, lucid dream that was lost forever in the spiral of time.
If only she could have kept on dreaming for a while longer...
If only her dad had shared his health problems with both of them...if only her mom had given her a bit more time when she had nobody to talk to...if only she could go back to being the simple straight-A high-school student that her parents were so proud of...if only she could be given another chance at making things right.
If only she hadn't lost herself to desire that day...The irony in the fact that her name meant 'desire' made her smile bitterly once again.
Life couldn't possibly go on when so many 'if-only'-s were involved, right?
The spectacle of the mysterious, rainy night left her intrigued and mesmerized beyond words. The sound of the falling water-drops accumulating in puddles on the road felt like music to her ears.
The night was beautiful. Life was beautiful.
It had always been. She had only been the fool not to have realized it any sooner.
Akangsha decided to spend as much time as she could watching the rains that night.
After all she wasn't going to be there to watch the onset of the next spell of shower.
A bead of tear trickled down her right cheek as she whispered 'I'm sorry,mom'. Just when it had started to rain heavily again.
P.S:Just in case any of you had difficulty understanding the theme...this story centers around teen pregnancy and the thoughts of the protagonist who is contemplating suicide.
I know it's an incredibly sad piece but then again all this happens in real life all the time.Take a look at this article.It contains statistics regarding teen pregnancies in our country.