Monday, March 23, 2009

The Chauvinistic Vampire and the Docile Damsel

Okay don't consider this post to be a movie review of any sort 'cause it's not, even though it might appear like one. Well it's about the movie Twilight and partly about the Twilight saga itself, the famed(or ill-famed) series created by Stephenie Meyer. Well after reading this much I am sure most of my male readers(I hope there are some :P) would have lost interest. But hang on...I am not going to blabber about how smitten I am with Rob Pattinson (EDIT:- I used to be, a phase of my life I'm not particularly proud about) or how this love story made me go weak in the knees. I am plainly going to put forward my views on the topic of this vampire-falling-for-a-human-girl love story. And trust me.....I will try my best not to bore you.
Well let's start at the beginning then. I got to know about the book Twilight from a friend and to be honest she didn't do much of a good job in explaining to me what the book was about to draw my attention to it. Not that she didn't sound excited about it. She was AWFULLY excited! But that's just 'cause some British hottie called Robert Pattinson who had starred as a handsome dead boy in one of the Harry Potter movies was supposed to play the lead role in the Twilight movie. And to be frank I didn't even think Rob Pattinson was THAT cute back then. But anyway the name Twilight registered in my head as some kind of bizarre 'vampire fiction' (whatever that means) that day. And even though I might not have understood what a favor she had done me back then - I do now.
[EDIT:- People, ignore the paragraphs above and umm a few below as well, because I wrote this as a teen. Teens do embarrassing things and as much as this sounds improbable, I did such embarrassing things as well.]

Then a few months went by. And on an eventful day while I was searching for nothing particular in Youtube I typed 'Twilight' in the search engine and waited listlessly for something interesting to appear. And oh yea something interesting did appear. In fact a lot of them - search results I mean. And after clicking on the first one I came face to face with the very first official Twilight trailer released in the US. And TADA what I saw did impress me. Rob Pattinson - with this new funky kind of hairstyle(EDIT:- Now when I think about it, it looked fugly and phony. I'm sure Holden Caulfield would agree.) looked smashing, the black-haired girl (Kristen Stewart) keeping him company onscreen was cute, the music was haunting as well as intriguing and the scenes looked slickly shot. BAM and I was hooked - hooked on to Twilight. Now that my curiosity had been aroused nothing could stop me. And I downloaded all the e-books in the series and started devouring them like I had never read another book in my entire life. And before long I was finished with all of them - starting from Twilight, moving on to New Moon, then Eclipse and finally ending with Breaking Dawn. Man oh man was I in love with the series and the exhilaration and the joy, reading the books brought to me. Though I didn't know why. Maybe I was a bit er...romance-starved cause I had just gotten out of my own personal romance back then and wasn't quite in the state to face reality head on. So a bit of dreamy unreality is just what I needed at that time.
To be truthful the entire series isn't even remotely close to being something to be treasured in the universe of fiction. Stephenie Meyer is okay but she's no writer of thought-provoking literature. The subject matter isn't completely unique and it's something that the readers of realistic literature won't hesitate to call 'utter bullshit'. But even so...the sweet love story between two people who are worlds apart, their heartbreaking pain of separation, dramatic re-union and finally a promise of a happily-ever-after was too beautiful for words. Maybe it appealed to me that strongly because of the circumstances I was in back then. Or maybe this story will be appreciated by any reader of romance novels or teenage girls like me. I don't know really...but I remember I was in a daze for days. I couldn't stop obsessing over the books, Rob Pattinson and the movie that was about to be released. Yeah I actually started to dig Pattinson after Edward Cullen-not before that. But anyway I didn't get a chance to watch the movie in these 3 months between November and March and it was only yesterday that my Twilight mania came full circle(not exactly though 'cause I am keeping my fingers crossed to catch all the 4 movies in the series).And I am sad to say I was disappointed. In support of my observation I can point out a thousand and one flaws in the movie - like the fact that Pattinson was so busy acting eerie and looking good he promptly forgot that he was supposed to impress Stewart, not give her a heart attack by glaring at her all the time. Or the fact that the lead pair had no visible chemistry going between them doesn't help to glorify their performances either. The story was almost same as the book yet it lacked it's heart and soul - Edward and Bella's love. Damn the director forgot it's just another love story.
And I can point out many more...but that is not what I had set out to point out. I have an entirely different point to make. So let me do that now.
The things is that it's only after watching the movie yesterday I have been able to see the imperfection in the seemingly perfect love story .Rob Pattinson's acting made me realize what a chauvinistic ,imperious and domineering bastard this Edward Cullen was. Throughout the entire series he kept making the rules of Bella's and his relationship and a demure Bella had to obey. And you know why she did that? - 'Cause she was hopelessly in love with this physically beautiful person, hopelessly in love with his perfection and ashamed of her own shabbiness. And though it's not quite apparent in the books, Edward continued to exploit this attitude of hers. When HE decided that it was dangerous for him and his vampire family staying anywhere near his beloved Bella he dumped her without ado and vanished from her life. When HE learnt from another source that Bella had committed suicide out of depression(which she actually hadn't) he set out to throw his own life away to punish himself for causing Bella's death or maybe showing off to the rest of the world what a genuine lover he was. HE even made rules on how much physical they should get (he insisted that if he got too intense he might end up hurting her 'cause he was a vampire and Bella was a simple human).When HE left Bella he hardly cared for the fact that in the process of trying to keep her alive he was inflicting a different kind of death on her. But the moment HE 'realized his mistake' he came back to her with the pathetic excuse that he would have come back eventually 'cause he couldn't stay away. And poor Bella - poor human,ordinary and unremarkable Bella had to welcome him back into her life with open arms 'cause well...what better option did she have? She was way too much in love to stand up to him and show him his rightful place.
Throughout the series it was Bella who got hurt the most. Her body and her heart - Edward injured both. And it's hardly fair, right?
So after this realization hit me I was disillusioned with Edward Cullen forever. I am sure a lot of women out there want perfect partners like Edward Cullen...but hang on ladies! Are you sure you will be happy with an Edward? happy with him setting the terms and conditions of your relationship and your life in general? happy with his getting the upper hand in everything? happy with giving away your own freedom in return for a false promise of eternal love and security?
I, sure as hell, wouldn't be.
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Sunday, March 15, 2009

The Promise of the Shooting Star

Beneath the starry skies I stand-
To witness something surreal and grand.
Something that starkly contrasts
The insipidity of my everyday life.

At this moment I have no worries.
Nor do I have any nagging doubts.
Thankfully they are all locked up-
In the farthest corner of my mind.

My heart is also empty of all emotion,
My mind completely blank.
And my eyes are blind to everything around-
Except this tranquil ocean of darkness.

I try to drink it in-
The beauty,the mystery-the spectacle of it all.
And I realize-
I am no longer empty from within.
My heart has filled with awe and wonder,
And a joy so great-
That I fear I may drown in it.
Now I know why I am standing here,
What I have always sought for.

So I wait with bated breath,
For that moment to arrive-
When a trail of brilliant light-
Will illuminate the night sky.
And dazzle my eyes momentarily.
When I would fold my hands,
As if in prayer.
And make that sacred wish-
My most cherished wish.
And then I would know it will come true-
'Cause it'd be the shooting star's promise.

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Saturday, March 14, 2009


The wind that blows from the west-
Gently touches my skin and caresses my face.
And it is then that I remember you-
Forgetting the rest.
I think of those days-
When fate seemed so benign.
And I think of that time-
That was only yours and mine.
I remember the mirth-
And I remember the tears.
And I realize-
Back then my heart had no fears.

I remember that solitary world of yours-
Where there was no light.
And I remember how desperately-
I wanted to make it vibrant and bright.
I still hear that carefree laughter-
Resounding through the night.
And then I glimpse your face-
That is now,forever out of sight.

I remember how I rebelled-
Against all the odds.
And I recall how willing I was-
To fight all the gods.
I even remember-
That painfully long day,
That day in September-
When you seemed so far away.
And I remember the things I did-
To keep my worries at bay.

These memories are all I have now.
Only these connect the two worlds-
That I always wished could be joined somehow.
But with each passing day,
They get farther away.
And I use all my strength-
To hold on to them.
Even if it only brings pain.
Even if I have everything to lose,
And nothing to gain.
And as a bead of tear-
Glistens at the corner of my eye,
I realize with a pang that all I wanted-
Was to never say goodbye.
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Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Fruit of Forbidden Love always tastes the sweetest

How would it feel to be in love with your own*cough* stepfather?Hang on-before you get any weird ideas here let me make this clear that er it's not me...I don't have a stepfather to begin with!
It's this girl called Yue who fell in love with her dashing,handsome painter stepfather Kouki and didn't know what to do about it.In the beginning she thought it was just a stupid kind of crush that would go away in time.But damn it!It didn't.On the contrary it grew stronger.With each passing day she felt even more attached to him especially after her mother died prematurely in a tragic car accident.Now an 11-year old Yue had noone left except Kouki who then decided on looking after his dead wife's only child.Thus the 2 of them started living together under less than ordinary circumstances.
Oh well you must be wondering who these two people are and what's with these weird Japanese names?Well they are the 2 protagonists of a shoujo manga(Japanese graphic novel).So of course they have Japanese names!I read this up a few days back and even though initially I was a tad disgusted with the storyline as I kept reading I realized that this too was just like any other love story I have so much enjoyed reading.It just talks about love between two people which is unacceptable in the eyes of the society.Yes it wasn't only a stupid crush that Yue had.She was genuinely in love with her step-father and he too,with her-even though he never showed any signs of weakness.The manga was able to capture quite deftly the despair and the hopelessness that one might feel in this kind of a situation.In the beginning even Yue thought she could perhaps let go of this feeling by being with some other man and trying to persuade herself to like someone else her age.But it turned out that she was fighting for a lost cause.She simply couldn't get herself to love anyone else.Kouki was the only one she wanted-her mind and her heart didn't long for anything as much as they pined for his company and his love.Though at this point Yue was completely unaware of Kouki's feelings towards her.They were revealed at the very end of the manga.
I am not going to reveal how the story ends and spoil the fun for others.But I can say I was quite happy with the conclusion.I guess true love is the only thing in this wide world that can transcend all barriers with ease.So in the end it doesn't matter what the society says.If you are true to yourself then there is nothing else in the world that you have to be afraid of.Yue and Kouki weren't depraved.Had that been the case Kouki would have probably jumped at her any of the numerous times they were alone under the same roof.But he wasn't like a hungry beast nor was he like any of the cliche perverted stepfathers we get to hear about everyday.Instead Kouki denied his own feelings for a long time 'cause he wondered whether it was morally correct to love someone who was born of the same woman he once loved and married.But it turned out that Kouki and Yue were simply in love with each other and no matter how hard they tried they couldn't stop themselves from having those feelings.It was only love.So what if they were related?So what if they had a certain age gap between themselves?So what if the society would probably always regard their love as an unpardonable crime?

We have one life to live,one life to achieve something and one life to love.So I am not afraid to say that I want to do those things in my life that would make me happy notwithstanding the objections other people might raise to my actions.It's okay to be selfish.It's okay to break the so-called norms.And it's okay to put yourself before society...atleast sometimes it is.
Tasting the forbidden fruit isn't always necessarily a crime.

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Sunday, March 01, 2009

Thoughts on getting old

Ah to be 15 again!Watching all these anime based on high school life(Kare Kano,Aishiteruze Baby,Vampire Knight etc) has gotten me deeply reminiscent of my early teens.Surely being 15 or 16 was scary.But it was also wonderful and exciting.So in an attempt to go back to that time I searched for my old diary which happened to be my best friend even until a few years back.And luckily enough I found it.Flipping through its pages I rediscovered that 15 year-old girl who was wondering how it would feel to grow into an old woman.Don't get what I mean?Well just read on and hopefully you will understand.

And I would close my eyes-
And listen.
To the soft rustling of leaves.
And recollect my sweet childhood memories.

And my hair will be as white-
As the snow falling on the cedars.
And my hands numb and cold.
But my heart will be as fresh and young
As a newly plucked marigold.

And I would sit on the old armchair.
And often doze off with a book-
Kept open on my chest.
And my grandchild would come wake me up-
Saying 'Gran,come and play with me.'

And I would walk down the garden path
Clutching my stick.
And inhale the scented breeze.
And watch the butteflies,fluttering by.
And look up at the crimson horizon-
To watch another glorious sunset.

And I would take out my father's photo-
From my old trunk.
And look at it with misty eyes.
And I'd remember the day when he first told me-
'Never give up,'cause life's beautiful.'

But I know those days are far off-
As I am but only fifteen.
But when those days approach,
I will remember his words-
'Whatever you are and may be-
Cherish all that life brings to you.'

Ah well if you still don't get it these are a few lines that I put down in my diary when I was 15.So my 15 year-old self isn't entirely lost huh?
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