Friday, September 11, 2009

Another 55-word Story

Sweet Child Of Mine

The pain had almost subsided by then leaving behind only excitement and a joy so
great that she feared her heart might burst.Anxiously she waited for the nurse.

But when she finally entered her ward her arms were empty.
Silently she shook her head.
'I'm sorry Mrs Sharma.The child was stillborn.'




*sigh* why do I end up writing such sad pieces?
Anyway this is my 5th specimen of 55 word fiction.So if you're new to my blog be sure to read my earlier works(just clicking on the '55 word fiction' label will do) too and drop in a comment if you please.

After all I need to know whether I'm getting better or worse at this. :(

P.S:I'm hoping that GnR fans will like this story....if not anyone else. :P

Sig 2

21 comments:

Ranjith said...

This one was pretty sad. How about you write some longer ones.. will help you in your dream of bringing out a best seller. :-)

Nightwing said...

this one was a bit predictable for me....1st line-ta theke bojha gechhilo...kin2 nice attempt...but i think you ahould write longer stories....they are much more fun to read....

Guria said...

Nice story girl! But also write longer pieces. I like what you write. :)

Aditya said...

cool writing :D . This 55fiction genre is fascinating.

And yeah am not a G n R fan, like only two of thier songs-Estrangled and paradise City. :D

Samadrita said...

@Ranjith:I know but 55-word stories usually come with sad endings.Actually I'm working on a few new ideas.Let's see which one shapes out best.

@Nightwing:Shucks!I'll do my best to surprise you next time I promise. :)

Samadrita said...

@Guria:Thanks.I'll certainly post a longer story soon enough. :)

@Aditya:I'm not into heavy metal in the first place. :P
And thanks.

Aditya said...

@Samadrita

GnR is NOT heavy metal :P . They are just a rock band :)

Samadrita said...

@Aditya:Um hard rock and heavy metal are two genres of music I don't dig.So don't even know the difference :P

Atindriyo said...

Your pen's getting stronger every day, buddy !
This one's truly great, and I've used the word 'great' quite consciously.... You've painted a piece of life with your words...And you've done that rather seamlessly and nonchalantly..... It's an amazing piece.... It really is....

wisewit said...

I think you writing is improving. This one flows very nicely. What other people are saying is true, I guess--it's a bit on the sad side and the ending is somewhat predictable--but I get that feeling from a lot of authors from India. When I was living in Spain I used to listen to the BBC's short story program. They had a lot of stories from Indian and almost all of them were a bit sad or even cynical in tone. Of course, that may have more to do with the tastes of the people selecting the stories than with any traits of Indian authors. :) I do know that Japanese and Chinese authors (and readers) prefer sad stories. Just think of "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", and you'll know what I mean!

By the way, I just re-sent my email. It would be good to check for it soon, because, if it gets caught in a spam trap, it will get deleted automatically after a while. Look for a subject line of 'wisewit: Suggestions for "Stranger of The night"'. I sent my email to 'sammy_good_girl@yahoo.co.in'; is that the right adress?

wisewit

Samadrita said...

@Atindriyo:Thanks for those kind words pal!
@wisewit:Thanks next time I'll work harder so as not to make the stories so predictable.And as to your theory about Indian authors...I think they're partly true.
But I find their stories closer to reality than anything else.Life's not a smooth bed of roses or like a romantic comedy where all loose ends are tied up in the end or all problems sort out just like that.
And this is what they try to portray-the harsh truth.

Ashish said...

Nice concept of 55 words. The post touched my heart. Nicely expressed!

Samadrita said...

@Ashish:Why thank you!

Sid 'Ravan' Kabe said...

Superb.. inspired by your sad 55-fiction, i have started writing funny 55-fiction...heh heh heh..

this one may b 5th...but i can say u r good...:D

Samadrita said...

@Sid:Gracias! :)

sawan said...

some how i don't like sad endings :(

Vishnu said...

the title matched the story perfectly..
there is nothin here for GNR fans to be liked.. stumbled here from simba tago's blog..

Samadrita said...

@sawan:Somehow I like them.I donno why but I feel that sad stories linger longer in your mind than the cheerful ones.

@Vishnu:Well how did you like the story?

Vishnu said...

to tell the truth.. the story was nice.. but am fed up of all these sad story endings in 55 fiction.. so better try sumthin new..

Samadrita said...

@Vishnu:Hmm okay next specimen of 55 fiction won't have a sad ending I promise. :)

MysticPen said...

I too do short fictions.Just now heard of 55F though..Awesome!

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